Sunny, Cloudy, Rainy, or A Chance of Meatballs

Hey Boss Babe, how are you weathering this storm? What is your internal barometer saying about your emotional forecast? Are you feeling sunny with rays of hope? Rainy and stuck in the mud? Cloudy with the chance of meatballs … my new way of saying, “anything is up for grabs.” 

No one anticipated that a global pandemic would take over the world, so why can’t it rain meatballs, too?  

We’ve never seen anything like this. We’ve never been restricted to our homes, told to wear face masks to the grocery store, or asked to remain six feet or more apart from our loved ones. We’ve never seen everything around us turned off, shut down, or canceled in epic proportions. Therefore there is no right way to feel, even though you can be sure as shit I wish I knew something that made me feel just a tiny bit more in control.  

I won’t lie. (I mean, when have you ever known me to be a liar? I yack up truth like a cat does hairballs.) My internal weather can change by the hour. For once, I understand how meteorologists can wrongfully predict the forecast so frequently.

I might wake up feeling hopeful and bright, ready to tackle a new idea, fueled by new creative energy and the need to innovate within this new order. Then one too many CDC articles later, I’m feeling shaken and stirred — as though I’ve drunk a giant emotional cocktail made with grain alcohol that has the opposite effect of giving me a buzz and leaves me incredibly sober, instead. 

A colleague of mine described her emotional plane as “rocking and rolling with the ebbing and flowing” — her way of saying it depended on the day. She, too, felt she was moving in and out of time and space. One minute wanting to shout, “I GOT THIS!” only to then find herself wanting to crawl under the covers, grumbling, “Wake me when it’s over.” 

Each of us is processing and responding to this new invisible but powerful regime we find ourselves in. The one that has people holding toilet paper hostage, bleaching their counters until they can see their own reflections, and going for so many walks even their dogs are begging them to “Stay home.” All of that — the hoarding supplies, the cleaning, the exercise — are based in fear and uncertainty (and a whole bunch of other things).

And while not too many days ago I found myself pissed at people for taking too much TP, or complaining about trivial things like not finding enough bread in the aisle or being bored at home, I had to remind myself; they are allowed to feel all their feels just as I am. Their taking too much TP or just wanting to claim a loaf of bread may be more about controlling something during a time when they can control very little. Who am I to judge? 

So, here is where I’m at today (because I’ve had heaps of time to think about it.)

Let’s honor our feelings. Let’s give them space to be what they will be. To not judge them or correct them or make assumptions about them. Let’s accept that they may change frequently and that it will be uncomfortable and disrupting. And let’s also offer that same kindness and patience to others about their feelings.

We each carry weight during this time. It looks and feels different for each of us. For some, it may be that there is no bread available; for others, it’s the aging parent they cannot see, and for another, it may be that a friend has just tested positive. Our weights may not be the same, but our feelings are allowed. We each may weather the storm differently, but we are all getting wet. 

So, build yourself an umbrella by checking in with your feelings. Letting them be what they are. Moving with their highs and lows like its a dance (and you know the song will eventually come to an end). Breathe. Be patient and kind. And leave assumptions on the curb — don’t add them to the load you already carry. 

Oh, and don’t forget to wash your hands. When the storm has passed, you’re going to want them in good, clean shape for all the hugging and holding and “whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on” (which would be a great addition to your stay-home-stay-safe-dance-party playlist if you happen to have one … not that I would know anything about that.)