Resolving Your IBS (Irritable Belief System)
Resolving Your IBS (Irritable Belief System)
Before you get too far into this post thinking you’re about to learn some kind of secret to relieving your IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) let’s be sure you read the title correctly. I’m talking about an irritable belief system (or imposter syndrome) which can be just as, well, irritating.
While our self-doubt and limiting beliefs can help us acknowledge risk or even push us toward success at times, it can also be downright frustrating to constantly consider. With actual IBS you are likely always considering what you eat. With this IBS (irritable belief system), you’re probably constantly weighing the pros and cons of what you say or do. “Should I do/say x or will that lead to y?”
What I want is for all of us, is to resolve our irritable belief systems. I want us to move from irritable to impressive. Rather than our self-talk and personal beliefs about our own capabilities convincing us to not go after that promotion, lead with confidence, or share that idea that may be industry-changing...I want our self-talk and personal beliefs to encourage our actions, cheerlead our efforts, and validate our awesomeness.
We can’t have that strong inner game without truly understanding what the eff is rubbing that belief system wrong and then implementing a dynamic prescription. I use the word ‘dynamic’ intentionally.
Dynamic (adj): 1. (of a process or system) characterized by constant change, activity, or progress.
Your prescription needs to evolve as you do and require action.
Reading mindset tips won’t work
This means you’re not going to cure your irritable belief system by simply “fixing your mindset” or reading a bunch of tips—which is the main thing other coaches offer you on this topic. They’ll give you their tip sheets and strategies on managing your self-doubt. That italicized word is important. Management is not resolution.
Do you know the Lindsay Jacobellis story? Here’s the cliff notes: Jacobellis was a U.S. Olympic snowboarder. She messed up one of the gold medal races by showing off at the Turin Games in 2006. For years after that one defining moment, she was constantly falling short of the medal.
Her performance coach, Denise Shull, approached her work with Jacobellis by having her talk about the fear and that 2006 Olympic error. Shull said this was more important than clearing the mind and only thinking positive thoughts, which she said was the usual perspective of sports psychologists and coaches. As Shull puts it, “to pretend that negativity does not exist is as ridiculous as children holding hands over their ears and shouting ‘nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh’ to avoid hearing what is being said.”
What does Jackobellis have to do with your IBS? The majority of Coaches will shove tips in front of you which is the equivalent of saying “Pretend those beliefs don’t exist and think positively.”
It’s not that tips can’t be useful. They can be. They’re not a horrible place to start. BUT they will not actually disrupt the neuronal pathways which have created imposter syndrome to begin with (as we discussed here). Jacobellis clearly didn’t go on to win more medals as a result of “positive mindset coaching.”
You want to actually resolve this system. You want to identify the brain pattern, disrupt it, and create a new neural pathway in its place. One that actually reflects who you are and has you totally impressed with your bad self.
Playfulness does work
So we’ve established that simply saying things like, “Quit thinking that way,” won’t work and neither will reading articles with titles like this one: The Top 10 Tips for Ridding Yourself of Imposter Syndrome (which doesn’t come up in a Google search BTW, but plenty of similar ones do).
What will work and does help is introducing play.
The late Dr. Karyn Purvis, Director of Texas Christian University’s Child Development Center stated, “Scientists have recently determined that it takes approximately 400 repetitions to create a new synapse in the brain – unless it is done with play, in which case, it takes between 10 and 20 repetitions!” In simple terms: introduce playfulness and you significantly reduce the number of times it takes to create a new synapse. (You want new synapses to replace the olds ones, the ones that have told you you aren’t worthy.)
My favorite way of talking about this, is to say “Hit the ‘PAWS’” button. When you catch that narrowing belief, hit pause, and then hold your hands up like you have actual paws. (Hey, don’t knock it until you try it.) What happens when you’ve got your hands up like a pair of mitts is that you giggle. When you giggle, you interrupt that limiting belief brain pattern. By interrupting it, you stop the belief before it completely sets in and eventually begin to counteract all the times that imposter syndrome attempts to block you from trying/doing/testing/learning something new.
Using play is a great way to begin on your own when the doubt creeps in, but it still won't be the only piece to resolving this pesky IBS. There’s something more critical that needs to happen. You need to know your originating incident.
Knowing your Originating Incident is Critical
The originating incident is the moment in time (usually occurring in childhood), where you felt like a failure or inferior. At that critical moment, imposter syndrome started riding your bus until eventually it took over the wheel.
Mine happened on the playground when I was seven. It involved a boy and a thin, blond, girlfriend who was chosen by ‘said boy’ while I (awkward and tall for my age) hung out on the sidelines wishing I could be more than the trusty sidekick. It took me decades (and external support) to discover my originating incident and the power it had over my behaviors and decisions for all the years leading up to its discovery.
This is exactly why I have developed a 3-session coaching package to work specifically on imposter syndrome. I know that we can’t go digging through our own backstory. (I also know that the tip-approach doesn't work.)
I’ve got something other coaches don’t. I’ve got a way to get to the bottom of what’s causing your Imposter Syndrome in the first place. You need that piece in order to truly disrupt your limiting beliefs and get imposter syndrome’s hands off your steering wheel and irritating the crap out of your mental/emotional state.
Your 5-Step Plan to Managing Your IBS
Step 1: Acknowledge you have imposter syndrome.
Step 2: Identify what type of imposter syndrome you have. Start by taking my quiz.
Step 3: Determine with a coach (preferably me) how you came by your IBS (not the nature part but the nurture part; aka your originating incident)
Step 4: Use play when your IBS rears its ugly head
Step 5: Create a personalized roadmap and follow it (again, with a coach whose name is Jen and whose blog you’re reading right now.)
Look a lot of this can’t be done alone, but those first two steps don’t cost you a thing and are something you should do to start resolving this syndrome.
You do want to get back into the driver’s seat right? Without having to get off at a new exit every few miles because the Success Highway leading to your Big Bold Life freaks you out, yeah?
So, let’s do this already.
Go take the quiz and then book your call with me.
It’s time you turn your IBS from irritable to impressive. Trust me. When suddenly you can be your biggest fan, championing your every move, making decisions with confidence, and leading like the badass you are, you’ll be seriously impressed (as will I) that your beliefs are pushing you further ahead instead of holding you back.
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Follow me here or connect with me here or on my blog to get more on Imposter Syndrome. Or enroll in the course, “What if Imposter Syndrome is Really Your Superpower?” here. Really, the most important thing is for you to take the quiz.